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What on earth are you thinking?

In an earlier blog we looked at the six stages of change. Today I want to look at what you might hear, mostly from yourself, at each stage.  This is naturally based on my own experience.  You may hear some of these, none of these, all of these and more besides. I share this because I think it helps us to be aware of the voices we might hear, mostly internal. It also helps us to plan for how we will respond, especially if those thoughts and voices catch us off guard.   

  • Pre-contemplation : I'm not drinking as much as them. I don't do anything ridiculous when I'm drunk and I've never been arrested. I drank more when I was younger and I always drink with meals and never on my own. My doctor knows how much I drink and she's never told me to cutdown or stop. OK, it's more than the official limits but what's the harm?
  • Contemplation : There's a lot of calories in booze and maybe trying dry for a bit could help me lose some weight. Booze is so expensive these days and maybe there's something better we could do with the money? I keep hearing about Dry January so maybe there's something in it, but let's get Christmas and New Year out of the way first. 
  • Preparation : Look, I'm already cutting down and not drinking mid-week. I've been reading up about some of the celebrities who've given up alcohol, but stopping forever isn't for me. I wonder if there's any Facebook groups, podcasts or books that could be helpful? What can I actually do to make this happen? If this was a diet I'd be buying a receipe book but maybe I can just start tomorrow? I wonder if sober coaching would help me, cos I'm sure this is going to be hard!
  • Action : OK, today's the day. I'm pretty sure I can make it through that leaving do without any booze. Now I'm not drinking I can see quite how many of my friends and relatives don't drink too! I'm enjoying the support from my family who I can see now were really worried about me. The first couple of weeks were a bit of a struggle but I'm really seeing and feeling changes now.
  • Maintenance : I've got that wedding coming up, so maybe a glass of champagne at the reception would be ok. I'm only going to have a few drinks on our All Inclusive holiday and can get back on it when we're home again. I'm really boring now I'm not drinking so maybe I should just have one and lighten up a bit. After the day I've had, I deserve a drink. It's not everyday you get your dream job - cheers! I haven't seen them for ages and it's just one day after all.  Maybe I don't have to give up alcohol for good and moderating is the way forward.   
  • Termination : I can't believe I'm not even thinking about alcohol any more. I'm not even tempted to have a glass. It was such a shock and I felt an overwhelming craving to have a drink, but it felt really natural to deal with it differently. Moderating was such hard work and it's got much easier since I decided that I simply don't drink any more. 

If you're reading this blog on day one of your journey, some of the later "thoughts" might sound really alien and not at all like things you could ever hear yourself saying. If you're reading this blog after maybe 6 months without consuming alcohol you're probably agreeing, with me, that you never thought that transition was possible. But it is. 

Just start today. Continue tomorrow. Maybe commit to a month and see how it goes. Anything longer term will emerge as you find your way and you absolutely do NOT have to make huge long term decisions right at the start. If this is a diet I'd be suggesting you start with committing to lose 1st / 14lbs / 6kg instad of getting totally overwhelmed with a massive weight loss target that seems totally unachievable. 

And if you think you would benefit from 1-2-1 mentoring you can always reach out and make an appointment (always free!) here on my Red Kites Life Calendar

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