When I first started Dry January lots of people talked about QuitLit and recommended various books to help on the journey. However, I totally failed to identify with any of the stories, journals or diaries. I was either too old, not a mum coping with kids or not working in a high-alcohol environment. And I had also not had a wake-up call or *rock bottom* moment that many of the stories talked about.
So I've tended to find my "QuitLit" in other places: mainly books and podcasts about change, building good habits, more factual books about the effects and harms of alcohol, and other reputable content about building a healthy lifestyle in all its forms. This has also included content on will-power (that gets a blog all of its own!) and self-discipline.
So no surprise that this book caught my eye. OK, the doughnut caught my eye! Which is actually a bit ironic considering what follows! I focused on the section entitled "The 5 mental hindrances to self-discipline" as I do think I lack self-dicipline in some (but not all) areas of my life and would like to work on this aspect of me in the future.
"Part of that process [of taking back personal power and control over ourselves] involves knowing exactly how we're being blocked or prohibited from exercising that control." And the first one is Giving in to the Five Senses. Which is why that doughnut is so problematic!
Peter Hollins suggests (with specific reference to cake) that cake is not the problem. The real problem is that we hand over our control, attention and agency to physical sensations of pleasure (yummy cake) and pain (disgust, guilt and recrimination) and forget our own will.
We allow the sensations of sight, sound, smell, taste and touch in our surroundings to overwhelm us and replace our conscious thoughts and goals. And worse, the author identifies that we fight against our own interests when it comes to self-discipline and self-control because our brain works against us - in its eternal quest for dopamine. It wants dopamine now (reach for another doughnut) instead of dopamine in the future (how amazing I'll feel next week when I'm back in those jeans).
Does this sound at all like the battle we face when we're trying to build an alcohol free lifestyle? So many posts about why I can't moderate, why did I give in, why am I so stupid, why can't I stop, I'm so ashamed about how weak I am?
Look at it with this new perspective: that glass of whatever will ease our nerves, make us relaxed, make me sociable and happy, help me drop off to sleep, allow me to relax and unwind and forget the stresses of today or of life in general. But it's also addictive, and it also acts on the part of our brain that regulates self-control - which is exactly why opening the door to one makes it so much harder to say no to the second and subequent one(s).
OR
Let's find a different way to boost dopamine. Your brain wants happy feels. It's used to finding happy feels in a bottle. Today (and tomorrow and the day after) we're going to supply happy feels from somewhere else. Somewhere better for us and healthier for us.
Most importantly, let's get rid of those sensory cues : get the alcohol out of the house so you can't even see it, avoid pubs and bars in the early days so you don't hear bottles being popped and pints being pulled, ask your other half to not pour drinks or try to tempt you by putting a glass under your nose, avoid even the taste of alcohol free substitutes if you think that will be too much.
Conversely, if you think that the taste or smell of the AF drink, or the look and touch of a zero beer or nosecco, served in a posh glass with all the trimmings will trick your brain into thinking it's had the real thing, well - go for it!
Caffeine is known to increase dopamine (using the same pathways as heroin and cocaine) but go carefully because in the early days of your alcohol free journey you may find your sleep patterns are disturbed and caffeine won't help there.
Chocolate is also believed to support the production of the amino-acid required to make dopamine within the body, which may be why so many people going alcohol free say they crave chocolate. But again, unless you also want to pile on the pounds (or not lose the ones you're already targeting), it may be better to look for other healthier solutions.
Other possible activities that can boost dopamine include:
- completing a task (finishing a DIY or craft project?)
- self-care activities or massage
- eating (get healthy snacks in the cupboard and plan healthy meals in advance)
- celebrating little wins (decluttering or sharing your successes from the Try Dry app!)
- gentle exercise or maybe a dance workout
- yoga and meditation
- shopping (find pleasure in spending some of that money you're saving by not buying alcohol!)
- playing with a pet or walking in nature (or both at the same time which will help work off some calories if you're also looking to lose weight!)
And this is why when we're planning for this journey it's SO important to make a plan for finding these healthy dopamine fixes, instead of just reaching for the old unhealthy one. What will YOU do today to get your dopamine fix?
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