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I have something to tell you

So you've decided to take a break from alcohol or reduce your consumption. Unless you live alone and never go out or meet anyone, you're probably going to get asked why you're not drinking, especially if your friends know your usual drinking habits.

A lot depends who is asking, so this blog looks at friends or colleagues, and tomorrow I'll take a look at family discussions.

Some people will say you're never under any obligation to explain why you're not drinking, so one option is to say "it's none of your business".  Whilst this is true, I personally prefer a slightly less confrontational approach.  I also think that "I don't want to talk about it" leaves the subject open to friends speculating and making too much of your decision.

But whatever you decide, have your answer ready and say it confidently. Any indecision leaves you open to being persuaded to change your mind and especially in the early days you absolutely do not want to lay yourself open to being talked into consuming alcohol when you didn't want to. 

Firstly, don't be afraid to consider not saying anything to anyone. Depending on the situation they may not even notice, especially if you order your own drink, or pour your own at home, and it looks like it's a "proper" beer or G&T.  If someone else then goes to the bar for the second round you can say "oh I'm taking it steady this evening - I'll stick with Diet Coke for now and maybe have something else next time". And of course, next time YOU go to the bar and get something alcohol free again.

You can also seek out friends who are pregnant, or the designated driver, or colleagues who you already know won't drink for health or religious reasons and become a part of their alcohol free group too.   

Secondly, lying is always an option! 

  • "I’m on antibiotics” can work, but not as a permanent solution. 
  • "I’m driving” probably only works if it's true.
  • "I have to be up early tomorrow."
  • "I have an important day in the office tomorrow."
  • "I'm going to the gym when I get home."
  • "I'm training for X and I get much better results when I've not had a drink." (true!) 
  • "I might have to pick up the kids from a sleepover / partner from late train."

My truthful answer at the start was "I’m on a diet and I’d rather save the alcohol calories for dinner later"

You can of course also say you're doing Dry January, or Sober Spring, or given up for Lent or that you signed up to a water only challenge (Diabetes UK does this in February) and you’re curious to see if you can do it. These are closest to the truth and you may find supporters who've also tried these challenges who can give you moral support. 

Beware! The more honest you are and the more detail you give, the more negative reaction you're likely to encounter.  Most 'anti' feedback comes when the way we describe our decision is an implied criticism of what others are doing - so my advice is to keep it short and sweet, very simple, very high level, very low key and keep it all about you.

Location: 11000 Carcassonne, France

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